I had this dream last night that i was at this really nice house and mitt romney lived next door and he was in his pool and i was in the balcony of this nice house and i kept yelling, “hey mitt romney, are gay people allowed in your pool?” lol he wouldn’t listen to me.

I bet Mitt Romney has a really lackluster penis. Like not too small, but not very big. Like you see it and you’re just like…

oh

pizzaforpresident:

so true

Wait, so that’s what God feels like?

nicki minaj you can stop now. we are all getting tired of your shit.

pizzaforpresident:

fetusparty:

can someone explain to me what i just saw

your sister fingering herself

sadsavior:

do you ever see something great and hilarious but you’re too sad to react to it

do you ever sneeze and suddenly satan rips through your face and exits through your nostrils

In a way, I’m kind of glad Eve sinned. Because otherwise we’d all be walking around naked and I fucking love sweaters and underwear, so without her we’d be without.